Checking in on ourselves is just part of being human. In fact, reflecting on how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and what we need, is often times the fuel that ignites our decisions about what we do or say (or not do or say) to meet our own goals for the situation. If we are checking in on ourselves, we can figure out if we need (or want) help from others. It can also encourage us to think about our choices, advocate for ourselves, or make a little more time to refuel.

But we may not know what we need if we don’t check in with ourselves first.

We can start by avoiding the assumption that the self-reflection process is intuitive or simple for everyone. It can be a heavy cognitive and emotional load for some. But the benefits of knowing how to check in with our ourselves is a life skill for all of us. We know that many students benefit from learning using visual tools, so here is a simple lesson for teaching about the process of checking in on oneself to figure out why we might be thinking or feeling a certain way.

Notice in the circle below that checking in starts with ME. It’s a thought bubble but could also be a “feeling” icon (e.g., heart, emoji, etc.). The idea is to work our way around the circle, in any order that makes sense, to better understand our thoughts, feelings, goals, and actions. See the associated thinksheet for introducing and practicing with this lesson.

Consider that this visual and lesson is just a way to organize reflection or provide a place for discussion. It’s meant to be a jumping off place versus a “how to” process. Because this is about teaching individuals to better understand what helps and what gets in the way of making gains towards their goals, avoid trying to fix a problem or interject with your solution. However, there will be plenty of times when self-awareness and reflection can lead to the discovery of lagging social competencies like self-advocacy or self-regulation. The Social Thinking® Methodology has many tools to help individuals build those competencies to meet their goals.

The Direction of Reflection: Checking In on Me

Download Thinksheets

1. Introduce the visual below and begin by pointing to the middle (Me). Remind students the activity is all about them and their thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, and what helps or gets in the way.
   
   

2. Have them start in the middle with, “What am I thinking about right now?” Note: Some students might start with “What am I feeling right now?” As a reminder, naming how they are feeling can be harder. If the student struggles to name a thought or a feeling, then this is probably not a good fit for teaching this concept.
   
   

3. Next, the direction of the reflection can take any path within the circle or on any point. It doesn’t have to include every icon, and you might end up generating your own discussion questions or icons from this exercise or lesson.
   

In the example below, the student responded by saying, “I’m nervous about my 1^st period quiz.”

So now the direction of the reflection, in this case, progressed in the following manner.

• What about my energy level? Am I tired or charged? I’m ok.
  
  

• What’s going on with my body? Am I hungry or thirsty? I’m ok.
  
  

• Do I need more information about the quiz? How would I get it?

  • Maybe. I could ask my teacher.
    
    

• Am I getting stuck on remembering how I did on the past quiz?

  • Yes, I failed the last quiz because it was too long!
    
    

• How am I feeling?

  • I don’t know how long it will be, so I guess that’s why I’m nervous.
    
    

• What’s my goal? Am I making gains or stuck?

  • Pass the quiz. Feel ok about how I did.
    

There is no right or wrong way to move around the circle and not all components may be relevant. But some students might need a more linear way of thinking about this process because the circle is just too open-ended. For these cases, we’ve provided a question grid to guide reflection or help with discussions. When using either tool, always consider which reflection component is the most relevant for that person, whether it makes sense to ask questions or make comments, and how long to spend talking about each.